Monday, June 11, 2012

seems to me...

...there is a bit of relationship talk going around with people my age...

i'm 29, it's about that time to settle down, right? 

i always thought so. but here i am. single as they come. damaged, broken, carrying baggage...but here's the thing...aren't we all carrying some sort of baggage?

i am a pretty happy person, until i'm faced with the fact that the last 2 guys i dated left me for someone better different. 

this is a harsh reality to deal with. the first of the two, we can call him B, is a good person. he just fell out of love with me, i guess. i was younger and doing the things i loved. i thought he loved them too but he was never interested in participating with me. did he resent me for doing what he chose not to do? no idea. 

regardless, we are no longer a "we" and it's for the best so they say

as for the second of the two, referred to by the letter D. he is not a good person. D gives off good person vibes, seems sweet and understanding, gives you a peek into his softer side. but alas, there is no such thing. 

i'm not even sure D has ever really loved anyone is his life. he has a girlfriend now, whom we both know and have worked with, when i wasn't worthy for so long. 

D always said we were good friends, wanted to be the best of friends. but he has no idea how to be just friends with the ladies. 

is it that hard? can a boy and a girl be just friends


i say absolutely. i have many guy friends that i just adore dearly and that's all we've ever been and will ever be.

is it wrong to be attracted to your friends of the opposite sex? i say definitely not! attraction is an emotion that we should feel daily! 

like D, some people just don't know how to not cross that line between friendship and more than friends. 

physical relationships between friends just don't turn out well if you don't end up together. someone will always get hurt. in this case, it was me. 

D, i am more hurt i lost you as friend than anything else. 

i've only ever loved 3 people in this life and i will carry them in my heart for always. 

will i settle down and get married? i have no idea. 

do i want to? absolutely. do i deserve to? doesn't everyone?

dearest next love, i am excited to fall for you but it won't be an easy fall



Ashley said...

you definitely deserve to! and those crazy relationships that dont turn out are always for a reason and they make you stronger and better.....and help you know exactly what you want and need!

arianapia said...

thanks ash! that's really sweet. stronger stronger stronger!